Understanding the power of your words. Your words have the power to heal and the power to hurt someone close to you. Words also have the power to shape new beliefs, for better or for worse.
My Rather Odd Shopping Experience
Yesterday I was shopping at one of my favorite department stores. I had finished returning a few pairs of jeans for my son that didn’t fit and was heading over to the boy’s section to look for some other options. I walked past the boy’s shoe area and thought I would take a look at what was there.
It is interesting that I even looked at the shoes, because I was just there a week earlier buying a pair of shoes with my son. I took a few steps in to look at what was on sale. There was another couple (mom and dad) about an isle over.
I then heard the following:
“YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THIS…YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING THOSE NIKES!”
I can’t do what I heard any good justice in writing as the emotion, anger, and frustration that accompanied those words was something I don’t think I could properly duplicate. It came from the mom nearby. I will say the energy of her words resonated about 10-15 feet around her.
Silently, I backed out of the isle, back to the main walk isle. I knew I wanted to see who she was talking to. I rounded the corner and looked over.
There was a thin young boy, maybe 5-6 standing there, paralyzed in the middle of the shoe isle. To say he was crestfallen was a severe understatement. Devastated is closer to describing the look on his face.
He was close enough to the shoes he truly wanted that he could reach out and touch the shoe box. But he didn’t move. He was paralyzed.
My heart felt like someone had cut through it with a knife. My heart went out to him. Then my jaw dropped open and my hand involuntarily went to cover my mouth. I almost couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Did she realize what she just said? Did she realize what just happened? I wanted him so much to have those shoes. They were what he truly wanted and he was told he could in no way have them.
Did I Just Witness A New Belief Being Formed?
Considering the energies of this situation, I believe I did witness a new belief being formed for that young boy. Will he now believe he cannot have what he truly wants? The possibility exists. In the time of about 2-3 seconds a new belief was more than likely formed. Will that belief serve him in a positive way? Who knows?
I truly hope the parents realized I had overheard the conversation. Perhaps it will be a wake-up call. I kept walking and finished my shopping. After going back to my car, I just sat there for about 15 minutes before driving on. I went over in my head about 15 different ways that situation could have had a better outcome. I felt an incredible sadness for that young boy.
As an adult, we can brush some of this stuff off, but a young child is fully reliant on a parent for everything, including beliefs.
Understanding The Power Of Your Words
Please, please, please understand the power of your words. Understand just how quickly a new belief can be formed, especially with a young child.
When you are tired, stressed out, and cranky, that is exactly the time to be conscious of what you say to others. It matters. It matters a lot.
I wrote how to hurt or heal with words
Hello Laura…
Oh … my God !!! You have just touched home in a huge way !!!
I am a mom of a 15 yeard old boy and come from a background where not much respect or acknowledment was given to the child’s needs, comments, etc …
I have ALWAYS endeavored to be exactly the type of mom that gives the time and full attention to my son and I am proud to say that I would never… never … root him to the spot as the mother in your story did in the middle of the store. I can assure you that your perception of a life changing moment for that boy was most certainly right … as you so well say, children rely on parents and drink up everything they are told by them.
So I thank you for sending out this message into the world and I sincerely hope that it touches parents hearts so that they stop and think (count to 10 if needed…) before replying to their children with words that could become very hurtful.
God bless you Laura and please continue your wonderful work !!!
Hi Laura,
You are so very right. The way people speak to us especially when we are young and especially when it’s someone we love can have absolutely devastating effects on our lives if that person is not careful.
I’ve gone through most of my life scared of making mistakes because as a child the reaction to being wrong was extreme with shouting, tears, things thrown, cruel words and a whole load of heartache. As a little kid being wrong meant upsetting someone I loved and being punished for it. As an adult I know of course that its ok to be wrong but it’s taken a long time and plenty of un-grasped opportunities for fear of failure.
I too hope that your words will help someone take a moment to think of the effect they may be having on someone who looks up to them.
If we all were more mindful of our words and tone the world would certainly be a different, better place.
Thank you x
Hi Everyone,
I ‘totally’ understand what you mean regarding – ‘The Power of words’. However, I ALSO understand ‘why’ the Mother said this to the child in ‘total exasperation’. Our children today ‘want’ everything, Consequentely – they do not appreciate all that they receive. I was given ‘everything’ with hardly anything withheld when I was a child. I ended up thinking that ‘everyone’ had to give me everything I wanted. Until I was 21 years old or thereabouts, I thought that the world was ‘just for me’ and no one else. This was due to my lovely wonderful parents who wanted the very best for me. I was shocked as an adult when I realized that the World and people weren’t ALL like my parents. Looking back, my childhood was idyllic because of them. Adulthood has been a complete nightmare because of my ‘excessive’ expectancy of others. I now feel that if my parents had said no just a few times, I would not now be so disappointed with my life. There are always two sides to a coin. Perhaps this little boys Mother should have told him the reason that he couldn’t have the Nike’s. Maybe she did later. Maybe she didn’t have the money. Maybe he already had lots and lots of fabulous things. Maybe he ‘always’ wanted something when he was out….I know I did…but I had TOO much then – and not enough now. Its been very difficult in my life because of this. I have ‘always’ expected other people to give me what I want and need, without exception! It has led me to a very disappointing life.