One of the ways we keep ourselves stuck and playing small is by comparing yourself to others. Learn why and how we sabotage our chances of success.
Do you sometimes have the feeling that you are not good enough or worthy enough to really go after your dreams? Awhile back I wrote about self-sabotage. Comparing yourself to others is another way we do this to ourselves.
How You Keep Yourself Playing Small
Mind Games
Oh, the mind games we play with ourselves sometimes! Believe it or not, our minds actually in a strange way enjoy playing this game of cat and mouse. Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?
“I’m not good enough to do that. I would need a lot more training.”
“Look what she’s doing; I will never be that good.”
“Someone else is doing what I was going to do, so now there is no point.”
“He wrote about the exact same subject I was going to write about, so I guess that idea is off the table for me.”
“There are already hundreds of books written about the same thing, I have nothing new to offer.”
Why do we do this to ourselves? It is just easier than making the necessary changes. It is because then we don’t actually have to do the inner work and take that leap of faith and possibly fail. These are all just mind tricks you know. They are the little messages showing us exactly where our fears are hiding.
Self-Worth
You don’t actually learn self-worth; it is something we are born with. It is about you having intrinsic value from the minute you are born. Self-worth cannot be taken away from you unless we allow it to happen. By believing that the opinions others have about us and what we should be doing carry more weight; we end up eroding our self-worth. You are giving your power away when you do not fully value yourself.
Just One More Class, Certification, Or Workshop
Do you really need to take that next course or is it just a convenient excuse for you to not step out and take real action to turn your dream into a true reality? How many certifications do you really need to have a successful business or achieve your goal? It is probably one less than you have already have taken. The amount of information we consume on a daily and weekly basis can easily lead you to thinking that you need to keep continuously stacking up certifications and diplomas.
What if instead of signing up for that next class you took that time to make those phone calls or offers that you have been putting off or went to speak to a business locally? Which would get you further to your goal?
From Shrinking To Expanding
Instead of giving yourself reasons why you can’t, give yourself reasons why you can accomplish what you want. Then make a firm decision on what it is you exactly want. Allow yourself to feel what it would really be like to have it. This is where using your intuition comes in. Intuition will not work if you are stuck in comparing yourself to others. Intuition works when you connect to your soul and find out what it truly desires. That is how the expansion of energy happens.
Where Are You Playing Small Comparing Yourself To Others?
When we get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, it can be hard to step out of it. Just where are you playing small in your life? All of us do it at one time or another. Sometimes just by writing it out you can really see the truth of the underlying beliefs. Share yours in the comments below.
(Image credit to Hugh McLeod – GapingVoidArt.com)
Thank you so much for this
Hi Jhenelle,
You are welcome!
I can truly relate to needing to get more certificates before being “ready.” I have suffered with this for years, and sadly look back and realize I never really needed those. I appreciate this article, it motivates me to take a leap of faith. I have suffered from the “Who am I to think I know anything” pattern, even though I have several degrees and lots of experience. I think that I thought I would feel different or more prepared. I never did! I felt the same. I need to take a risk. 🙂
Hi Kathi,
Yes, I have been down that road as well. That pattern still wants to creep back in from time to time, but I am much more aware of it these days. I agree, I thought I would feel somehow different with the additional pieces of paper.
Hello Laura, I feel like I am stuck in a rut. I am 40 years old and I have worked in the Warehouse field most of my life. I have lived in the same place most of my life as well. I want a new and exciting change in my life. I don’t know what my desires or my destiny is. I know I lack self confidence and I do find myself from time to time, comparing myself to others (younger people). Is this common among people my age?
Hi Elizabeth,
That feeling is common at any age. Everyone is on their own path in their own time. It sounds like it is time for some inner work to begin discovering what your life purpose is and how you can make a change in your life.
THANK YOU 🙂 Love you, you have been so helpful in my life! You have made a difference. Your message was exactly what I needed to hear.
I’ve had a rough life, and a negative, but loving Mother. I always feel I can’t progress because I feel I will never be ready or have all in place in order to do so. I have 10-years of college, a few inventions I need to do something with, and many gifts inside…and frankly…I am just lost and working in retail until I find “the path.”
I guess it’s already within; these great idea’s are not mine, but rather implanted. I am spiritual and intuitive, just don’t trust my own decisions 🙂
You blog has given me some fuel and ambition as I try and build a life for myself in a new state (U.S.). I cannot fail or I will be back where I came from and that is not an option.
Thanks again, Blessings to you and yours 🙂