Is it possible to transcend those feelings of self-worth, jealousy, and judgments that come from seeing old classmates? Check out some lessons learned from my class reunion.
This weekend I attended my 25th class reunion. Like many of you, there can be a sense of unease when you think about going back and seeing all those familiar faces that you spent so many hours in class with so many years ago. We tend to make a lot of comparisons along the way and it can make us feel left behind.
The thoughts and feelings that came up for me in the weeks before were quite interesting. They ranged from anticipation to dread to a host of other feelings. I know I am not the only one that has had these thoughts when it comes to seeing old classmates. I consciously decided to change my attitude toward going to the class reunion and stay open, non-judgmental, and welcoming.
Setting Intentions for the Class Reunion
Before we were ready to make the trip, I took a few moments to set an intention for the weekend activities that they would be light, fun, and festive. That is exactly how things turned out. Almost everyone there was open and interested in what each other was doing. Judgment was set aside and everyone talked to each other like the past really was the past.
Random Thoughts on a Class Reunion – Do People Really Change?
I think that yes, people really can change to the degree they want to change. It is really only a matter of degrees. We are all who we are at soul level and that is what makes up our core. Many people work very hard on themselves to be the best person they can be. It only takes a few degrees of change to make a big difference in perception.The high school years are not enough for most people’s true core to fully develop and as a classmate you only get to see certain aspects of a person, not the person as a whole.
Of course, some have no interest in changing or just cannot see for themselves what is so obvious to to others. Here are a few things that I thought were interesting:
– The person that was picked on in our class and had every right to hold a grudge doesn’t. Her heart and ability to forgive is bigger than most.
– The friend that has had many abusive relationships in the past is still making (what I would consider) poor choices in potential mates. The cycles and patterns will keep repeating until she really can see what needs to change. She is not ready to make that change yet, but I know she is on her own path and that change will occur in its own due time.
– The person that got that great job you envied can’t sleep well and battles with insomnia nightly.
– The person you thought would never amount to anything is now self-employed and a successful business owner in the community.
– The person that was incredibly shy is a genuinely nice individual.
How can You Heal from Past Events?
By releasing judgment about how you think things are and just actually talking with that person, you may find yourself having a completely different perspective on what someone else has gone through in their life. It really is about staying open and coming from a place of non-judgment with past classmates that you can really see them in a new light and not with the shadows of the past.
I am quite glad I went and was able to experience so many of my classmates in a new light. It made for a great weekend and I would love to connect more often than every five years.
How About You?
What about your last class reunion? Any revelations or surprises in how your classmates really were so much different that how you perceived them? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
I have not attended a high school reunion, but I would like to change that in the future. It hasn’t been easy to attend a reunion as I graduated in Germany, as the dependent of a father who made his career severing in the military.
There are class reunions each year held in a different area of the US, so that it is at least convenient to some of the past graduates of my high school. As you can imagine, my classmates are scattered all over the US.
I do keep up with a number of my former classmates as we have a page on Facebook. It is interesting to find out what has happened in their lives. Some have already passed away – that was a shock to me.
I agree with you, we each have the capacity to change, when influenced by others or by events that occur in our lives. Some of us take longer to get the lessons and change our ways.
Interesting post.
Funny, I think there may be an even larger group who are less concerned about the past and more concerned about the size of their rear ends today, the number of chins they have and perhaps the few remaining strands of their once flowing locks.
We are definitely a superficial species and for many looking good today is probably more important then the drama, back stabbing and ostracism that may have taken place decades ago.
Of course, the obsession with looking great when you march up to the table with the name tags, and being thought of as successful–might be fueled by those bitter hurts and simmering resentments from the past.